Thunderbirds Are Go - Sleepless Night
by lilidelafield
Summary: Based on the New Thunderbirds Are Go series. A sleepless night leads to a little brotherly fluff.
Grandma Tracy leaned back in her chair with a sigh. She was getting on a bit these days, although she would sooner die than be heard admitting it to any of her five grandsons. It had been more noticeable lately since Jeff's disappearance. The boys had lost their father, she had lost her only son. She had been very proud of Jeff. He had lost his dear wife when their sons were all very young, and Alan was a baby. He had had to deal with the tragedy of her loss, whilst continuing to provide for them all and bring up his five young boys single handedly. Looking at them all now, she had to admit, Jeff had done a damn fine job. He ought to be here now, sitting back and enjoying the fruits of all his hard work. She shook her head, annoyed at herself. What's happened has happened. There could be no going back. Looking back and pining and wishing would get her nowhere. The boys had discovered that very quickly. After their father's disappearance, the calls for help had kept coming in regardless. They had had to make a very quick decision. To declare a halt to father's work so they could have time to mourn him, or carry on as though nothing had happened? As one they had all reacted instinctively. People's lives were in danger. They may not have been able to help their father but they could save the next one, and the next one. On the surface they seemed as though nothing had happened. They mentioned him, but did any of them miss him as much as she herself still did? None of them had admitted anything of the kind; not to her, or even to each other as far as she knew, but grandma was certain that the loss of Jeff Tracy was as hard and sharp to each of them now as it had been the day it happened.

Scott as the eldest was the designated team leader, the one who made final decisions whenever necessary. In reality things seldom got that far. The boys each had their own areas of expertise, and they respected and listened to each other. Scott's experience made him the ideal one to lead the boys. He was cool and calm under pressure and found no trouble making difficult choices.

John, always something of a loner, excelled as the dispatcher and coordinator of the team. He had the combined knowledge of the planet at his fingertips. All he had to do was tap a few buttons and he could call up virtually any information he needed. He spent much of his time in orbit, in Thunderbird Five. Since his orbital lift system had been created and installed, and especially since acquiring his faithful computerised partner Eos, the need for John to be regularly relieved was past. He could leave Eos on watch and come down to Tracy Island as often as he needed. He could even tap into essential station operations from the island.

Virgil was a sweetie, although grandma would never have said so to anyone. He was strong and well built, an expert in engineering and mechanics, and often was the voice of reason when his brothers became overheated with one another. In reality something of a gentle giant.

Gordon the aquanaut. Expert in all things to do with water. He was the logical choice for all water rescues. Like the others he was dedicated to his role and often played a part in non water-based rescues when Virgil needed an extra pair of hands. Grandma smiled to herself. Gordon had an active and lively sense of humour, but the fact that his jokes often fell flat never seemed to put him off.

Finally little Alan. Grandma couldn't help still regarding Alan as a young boy. He had been well tutored in his craft by his father and Brains, and also in many other things. Alan had a thirst for knowledge like no one she had ever known before. His ability to focus, especially if he had a particular interest in the subject, or a special desire to learn it was absolute. He always seemed to give the impression of being what he appeared to be, a young boy fond of fooling about and playing video games; but he missed nothing. Nothing ever seemed to escape his notice, not even the tiniest detail got passed him. Of all the Tracy brothers, Alan was the very best pilot. Expert tuition coupled with his innate natural ability, That was why Jeff had made him the astronaut, even at his young age. It was also why he was frequently left behind on missions, because with so much activity happening in orbit these days, there was no knowing when Thunderbird 3 might be needed.

All in all, grandma reflected, she was pretty well off. She was very proud of all the boys.

Alan rolled over in bed and sighed. He hated it when he couldn't sleep. This was when his brain refused to turn off. Keep busy through the day with school-work or rescues, and he slept like a top all night. When things became quiet however, all that changed. How long had dad been gone now? Months? A year? Why did it always feel to him like it had happened only yesterday? He was able to banish it to the back of his mind most of the time, but lying in bed for hours without sleeping was a recipe for trouble. Perhaps if he went outside to cool off it would help him get to sleep? He got up and staggered down the stairs and onto the pool decking clad only in his shorts, surprised at the brightness of the stars tonight, and the way they reflected in the still pool. He sat down on the edge of the pool and let his feet dangle into the water, trying to un-clutter his mind.

"What is it kid? Can't you sleep either?"

Alan whipped round. It was John wearing red Pjs. He was sitting in one of the loungers beside the pool cradling a glass of water in his hand. Alan shrugged.

"Hi John. I usually have no trouble sleeping, but something woke me up, and now I can't stop thinking..."

John nodded in sympathy.

"Same here. Grandma was here a little while ago. She couldn't sleep either. What troubles you Alan?

Alan shrugged.

"Same as usual."

John frowned.

"Do you often have sleepless nights?"

"Not often. Usually we're so busy every day doing rescues, and me doing lessons as well, that I sleep all night. Its just occasionally..."

"You're not busy, not tired and feeling wakeful. What's on your mind Alan? Perhaps I can help you?"

"Thanks John, but no one can help."

"Well even if no one can help, I'd still like to know what's on your mind. I do care about you you know. You're my baby brother."

Alan smiled at that.

"It's dad that's all. I can keep him at the back of my mind most of the time, but its sometimes at night when I can't sleep, I start thinking about him, and I start to miss him all over again. I remember when we l...when it...we were so busy we didn't even really have time to mourn him. Not for days. There are times I miss him so much I just want him back. So badly."

John stared at Alan for several seconds, his eyes slightly damp, then he leaned forward and ruffled his brother's hair.

"It doesn't ever seem to get any easier does it?" he replied. Alan stared.

"Are you missing him too? I mean as much as I am?"

"Of course. He was my dad too. The others feel the same way, even if they never say so."

"I thought the rest of you had got over it by now."

John shrugged.

"Do people ever get over losing someone? You learn to get used to the person not being around, but thinking about them and remembering that they are dead and you will never see them again still hurts even years later."

Alan saw his brother's expression looked very sad indeed, and somehow knew he was speaking from experience.

"You're thinking about mom, aren't you John? You were old enough when she died to remember her pretty well."

John nodded.

"You were a tiny baby when she went. She died at home in bed with dad beside her. You were in her arms. I remember seeing dad take you from her arms and holding you to him as though he was never ever going to let you go." he wiped something from his eye and smiled. "You were mom's last gift to dad, her last gift to all of us. That was partly why dad was..."

"Why he was often so hard on me?"

"He didn't mean to be, he just had trouble seeing the real you. Every time he looked at you, he saw you as that tiny baby in mom's arms. He never really got over her dying you know. He just put it out of his mind."

"He rarely ever talked about her."

"People are like that sometimes. They find it easier to deal with when they can keep themselves focussed on other things. He talked about her all the time at first. I remember for ages he kept saying "We" whenever he was invited somewhere before remembering that she was gone."

"Is there a chance he could still be alive somewhere, John?"

"After all this time?" John looked doubtful. "I guess its possible, but..." He shook his head, looking intently into his glass. Alan nodded as though John was confirming his own suspicions.

"I just have to accept that he's gone and he's never coming back."

There was silence for a minute, then as John got to his feet, Alan looked round. John saw his eyes were slightly damp.

"John...do you think he'd be pleased? Of the way we're running International Rescue, even though he's not here?"

John smiled.

"He'd be proud Alan. Very proud of the whole team. G'night kid."

"G'night John."


End file.
